Nice Buns Big Horns
by nicebuns96
Summary: Loki and Fury have a strange encounter on the helicarrier. This encounter results in their true feelings for the other coming to light.


Loki walked into the large aircraft hanger and walked into the large bathroom of the large place that was large. he turned toward the large black man in the eye patch noting his defined muscles and defined abs underneath the not at all tight shirt and he could also see a large gun. clearly everything in this place was large. "Mr fury, why are you wearing a skirt" Loki enquired.

Fury taken by surprise, spun around quickly with a faint blush staining his cheeks. "I think the real question here is, why aren't you in your cell?" Fury stated as he slowly made his way to the Norse god.

Loki grinned mischievously at the taller man, letting out a girlish giggle. He strode toward fury with a gait similar to that of a roguish wolf or a sexual horse. he stopped 2 feet shy of fury and paused to appraise the outfit he was donning, a baggy white pirate shirt, pirate hat, and poofy, pink, showgirl skirt complete with fishnet leggings and thigh high stripper heels. "i have my ways pirate man but that still doesn't answer the question. does your mother know you raided her closet?"

Fury let out a nervous cough as he backed up slightly from Loki, "I'll have you know, that SHIELD has decided to have more /fun/ with the uniforms. We are, and I quote myself, CRAY MOTHERFUCKERS." Fury managed to force out as his heart beat quickened. The flawless Norse god made him rather nervous, after all, how could his delicious biceps not faze him?

Loki let out a uproarious laugh similar to the way a roman god would let out the kraken, the laugh echoed through all the bathroom and corridor. He appraised the man once more thoroughly checking out that stupidly muscular body, he could almost hear the sound of galloping abs in the distance. he felt a twinge of pain in his lower abdomen and remembered why he was here. "excuse me a moment darling" he drawled in a southern accent while he sauntered past the other man and towards a bathroom stall "but i really have to pee" he then proceeded to take his pants off and start peeing in the waste receptacle or as mortals called it, a toilet. his mighty stream making the most gentle of splashes.

Fury let out a rather high-pitched and unexpected "EEEP!" As he witnessed the trickster remove his trousers to reveal his firm buns. In a fluster, Fury ran out of the room and tried to focus on the loud clicking of his heels, not caring where he went. Finally out of breath, fury collapsed against the nearest walk and took shallow breaths. "That's one fine ass." Fury muttered to himself as he leaned his head against the wall.

Loki hummed and continued peeing for the next 20 minutes because he /really/ had to pee. when he was done he shook the golden piss from his meat wand and pulled his pink frilly panties up but discarded his pants because fuck pants. He swivelled on his heel noticing the lack of fury and frowning. "where oh where has the pirate hooker gone now?" he thought aloud, strolling out of the bathroom and into the dark corridors, calling out "fury-chan!" into the empty halls in search of the man for a reason he couldn't even phantom.

Fury's eyes widened noticeable as he heard the distant angelic voice of Loki. After a long battle with his feels, Fury decided it wouldn't be best for Loki to find him at this time, considering that his whore skirt had gotten uncomfortably tight. Fury quickly stood up, promptly removed one heel because only badass motherfuckers can be Cinderella, and removed his shirt as his abs broke into a run down the never ending corridor. A single tear made its way down his cheek as he whispered, "I'm sorry, my love."

Loki heard the drop of a boot in a nearby hallway and headed in that direction hoping it would be the scantily clad fury rather than one of those other stupid abridges or whatever the dorks called themselves. partially because he wanted to see the man and partially because his godly buns were growing cold. he tripped over something and looked down to see one 7 inch heel and a torn shirt. "so were playing this game are we?" Loki thought a predatory grin spreading across his face. He knew the man couldn't get far with a 7 inch height difference in between his feet. he yelled out "come out come out wherever you are little bunny, uncle Loki wont hurt you!" before he was knocked onto his cooling buns after his helmet caught on some overhead pipes.

Fury ran, or more like gimp walked, down random corridors not sure if he was moving closer to or further from the god of buns. Fury took notice of a rather loud bang not far from him followed by a thud. Fury then began to sing 'bump n' grind' as he tried to make his impossible choice. His bitch could be potentially injured. How could he possibly live with himself if he just ran away from that? As Fury made his way towards Loki's general direction he stumbled ever so slightly and managed to hit his big toe rather hard on one of the many hookers placed throughout SHIELD. The pain quickly enveloped his brain and he sank to his knees, no longer able to stand.

Loki stood up and looked around waiting for the world to be still before continuing to walk again. He was left more aware to the abundance of scantily clad women and men and… was that Thor? i did not need to see that Loki thought to himself as he quickened his pace. A loud, girlish cry of pain echoed through the hallway. Loki immediately recognized it a Fury's cry and laughed once more before feeling sad about laughing. he continued in that direction literally stumbling upon the mostly naked man on his knees on the floor in front of him. Loki gaped. "w-w-why the fuck are you on the floor fury-chan" Loki stuttered, that did not go as smooth as it could have.

Fury was at a loss for words as he stared up into the eyes of the pant-less god. Unable to utter words, Fury carefully stood up and began to interpretive dance his feelings. Fury bared his soul to Loki as he put everything he had into his dance which had been similar to 'gangnam style'. To finish the dance off, Fury confidently kicked his right leg up to Loki's shoulder and let it rest there. Fury bit his lower lip and quickly said, "5ever"

The Norse god watched in awe as the taller man danced something similar to a rain dance with excessive amounts of booty shaking. He really couldn't believe he was seeing this. It was kinda…. hawt? is that what it was called? finally the dance ended and Loki was left absolutely speechless. How could he top that? how did his leg go up that high? how do you even deal with these things?! Loki pulled out his phone and texted his bffs Stacy and Roxy who told him to follow his heart and get that ass. he reached out behind fury and poked his buns before whispering "i touched the butt" as a single, oddly anime tear, ran down his defined cheek bones and fell dramatically on the floor.

"LOKI-SENPAI!1!" Fury shouted as tears began to cloud his vision. All of his training with SHIELD had not prepare his anus for this moment. With his buns, fury reached out and softly stroked Loki's silky black long tendrils. "Bbz I luvz u 5eva dont u c?!" fury shouted as he began to eat a tube of cookie dough to help with his feels. To show Loki his love, fury twerked like none other before.


End file.
